I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
