we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
