No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
