Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
