think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
