Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
