My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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