I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
