This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
