That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize