I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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