What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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