I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
