WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
What a dumb baby whore.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
