porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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