Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
