did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
