Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
