he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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