i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize