I'm really into asian looking animals
Fuck appropriateness.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
