I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
