She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
