Porn is love you can see.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
