so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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