It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
