Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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