I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
