i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
