Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
