its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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