she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
