walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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