The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
