I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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