Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
