My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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