i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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