Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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