Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
