Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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