Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just had sex on a roof
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
