Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
