New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize