But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
