windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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