8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Text me some of your sweat
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
