I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
