I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
