So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
