Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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