I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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