We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
