You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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