were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
