i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
