Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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