Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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