the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
