He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
