Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
